The Year Facebook Ruined My Birthday

Many would argue that the greatest function on the entire Facebook platform is the birthday reminder notification. Every morning you wake up to a list of friends celebrating birthdays and you meticulously go down the list sharing memes and good wishes.We even send a cat with a birthday cake meme to the kid in third grade that never, ever invited us to their birthday party.

I admit that I too send, at the very least, a “Happy Birthday” to even the most distant acquaintance. It’s the great equalizer, because my two best friends rarely remembered my birthday on the actual day it occurred while I ALWAYS was on point with their special day. But Facebook gives us that waterfall of well wishes showering us with joy one day a year.

But this year, well, let’s just say Facebook really let me down. You see, my Facebook ads account was hacked by the Chinese. (Note: this is not hyperbolic rhetoric, I was actually hacked by Chinese dark webbers). In the midst of sorting out the damage and securing the account, I woke up on my birthday not to a stream of well wishers but a locked account.

I quickly reset passwords and security protocols, but the damage was done. Little did I know that in a code glitch, the birthdate in my profile clicked forward to the next day! Even my brother was confused and wished me well both days just in case. On July 25th, the stream of well wishes poured in, most oblivious to the malfunction. It just wasn’t the same feeling!

Reflecting back on my birthday weekend, I realized some important things about friendships. Instead of my Pavlovian reaction all day to the Facebook notification dings, I had some warm text and phone conversations with close friends, some dating back decades. I was fortunate to spend the day with 80 fraternity brothers and college friends, half of them I still stay in contact with regularly. And in the evening, my new, young neighbors celebrated the “old man” across the street with a toast of my favorite.

I will still probably send the kid from third grade a cat meme on their birthday every year but I hope to share something more personal than “have a GREAT day.” And I definitely will not gauge my joy by the number of Facebook friends that tell me “happy birthday.” Social media will return to its place in my life as a way to stay connected but not a means to happiness, even on my birthday!